Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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