Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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