Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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