Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
