Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
