just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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