Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
