Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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