My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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