so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Is Oprah even human
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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