She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We are two peas in an std pod
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
