ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize