You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
