apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
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we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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