I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
