Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize