i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
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Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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