the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Come on in and take your pants off
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