I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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