I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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