What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
