smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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