I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
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He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
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Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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