Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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