my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
