This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I didn't notice because vodka
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We're too hungover to prance.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
