Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
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Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
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Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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