You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
two words: eviction party
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
