My first STD was from a foam party
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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