I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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