hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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