she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
