she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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