Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
