i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
