SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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