sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
