a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
