Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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