In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
