season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
