I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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