you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
