Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
