Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
