I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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