Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
