I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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