he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
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Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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