I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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