called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My ATM looks so different sober.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
