its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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