Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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