She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
