I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
