I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
