I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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