Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
