I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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