My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
