sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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