The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
