ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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