I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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