ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
