Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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