We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
