i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
