Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
