Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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