We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
