So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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