My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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