there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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