I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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