That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize