i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
