I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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